The Day I Almost Stopped Speaking – A Story About Confidence & Creativity

That’s me four years ago. November 2019. East London. Wont mention the college. No need.

I’m still speaking. Still trying to hold it together but inside I’m bricking it.

There’s a moment I’ll never forget.

I was standing in front of a room full of sixth-form students, delivering a talk I had prepared carefully, my voice steady, my message clear. Then I noticed it—whispers, giggles, exchanged glances between a few students sitting together. So I sat down and tried to continue.

And suddenly, I wasn’t just speaking. I was battling doubt.

Had I lost their attention? Was I boring them? Were they laughing at me? Was it my Nigerian accent - possibly but were my grammar, content and diction at fault? Or was it just more closer to lunchbreak than I had imagined? Did I have lettuce between my teeth or were they just being young adults - fuelled by late teenage angst?

Is this what I had taken paid leave to do - I asked myself afterwards? An unpaid talk to students that couldn’t really care less. My second introduction to teaching - the first had been to secondary school kids over twenty years earlier. These ones were in their final year of sixth form and more closer to the real world than they knew. Or the ignorance of youth…

I kept going. I ignored it, I pushed forward, I did what I came there to do. But the damage was done. My confidence was shaken.

The Power of Self-Doubt

That single moment lingered far longer than it should have. It wasn’t just an awkward experience—it was something that made me question myself in a way that almost stopped me from ever speaking publicly again.

For days, I replayed the scene. I wondered if I had said something wrong, if I was wasting people’s time, if my voice didn’t matter.

It’s easy to believe doubt when it whispers, “Maybe you’re not cut out for this.”

Choosing to Keep Going

But here’s what I’ve learned—creativity requires resilience. Whether it’s writing, speaking, or putting yourself in front of an audience, there will always be moments that shake your confidence. And you have to decide whether you’ll let those moments stop you or strengthen you.

I chose to speak again. And again. And again. At conferences, at work when ever the opportunity provided itself and in staff networks until it manifested into paid engagements.

I learned that confidence isn’t the absence of fear—it’s the ability to keep going despite it.

For Every Creative Who’s Faced Doubt

If you’ve ever had a moment like this—where self-doubt crept in, where criticism (or just the perception of it) made you want to stop—don’t let it silence you.

✅ Keep writing. ✅ Keep speaking. ✅ Keep creating. ✅ Keep showing up.

Your voice matters. The world needs your story. There is no one that can write a story, book or poem exactly like you and there is someone who will be touched and changed by what you have experienced in life. So go for it.

💡 Tell me—have you ever struggled with self-doubt in your creative journey? How did you push through? Drop a comment below!

Ola Awonubi speaking at the Black Book Festival in Manchester in March this year.

As a speaker, Ola shares her expertise on storytelling, resilience, and navigating the publishing industry at literary festivals and writing conferences. She spoke at the Black British Book Festival Manchester in March 2025 and will be speaking at the Meet-Cute Romance Festival, and London Festival of Writing in June.

Her talks focus on breaking creative barriers, overcoming self-doubt, and crafting compelling narratives that resonate with readers. Whether addressing aspiring authors or seasoned writers, Ola’s insights offer practical strategies and inspiration to help creatives thrive.