How to Marry a Nigerian Man (Without Losing Your Mind or Your Jollof Recipe)

A Rom-Com Survival Guide

Ah, Nigerian men. Tall, confident, effortlessly stylish, and somehow capable of making eye contact across a crowded room like they just KNOW you’ll fall for them. But let’s get one thing straight—marrying one is an Olympic sport.

If you have ever dreamed of walking down the aisle with your very own Odogwu or Yoruba ‘Angel’ this guide will help you navigate the glorious, chaotic, and sometimes baffling world of winning the heart of a Naija man.

Step 1: Master the Art of Jollof Diplomacy

Listen, we can pretend that relationships are built on trust, mutual respect, and emotional connection—but let’s be real. Jollof rice is the real deal-breaker here.

Your first challenge? Where do your loyalties lie? Ghana or Nigeria? If you’re confused, here’s your cheat sheet:

✅ Publicly claim that Nigerian Jollof is superior

❌ Do not mention any Senegalese or Togolese variants

✅ Learn to cook it (even if he swears his mother’s is better)

If you can confidently plate a steaming dish of perfectly seasoned, smoky Jollof, you’ve already won half the battle.

Step 2: Survive the Ultimate Relationship Test – His Mother

Nigerian mothers don’t play. Before you even THINK about wedding bells, you need clearance from the General Overseer of His Life.

🔸 She will size you up in less than 10 seconds

🔸 She will subtly ask about your cooking skills, religious commitment, and upbringing 🔸 She will “test” you with a casual request to serve food at a family gathering (Do not fail this mission)

If you come into the house and she goes to the kitchen- follow her o! If its washing plates or helping hold spoon sha follow her and let her see you are proper wife material that can hold it down in the kitchen.

Pro Tip: Never, EVER challenge her authority on anything. Instead, let her teach you things (even if you already know), nod respectfully, and agree that her son is the most brilliant, most handsome, most blessed man to ever walk the earth.

Step 3: Learn the Subtle Art of “Guy Code”

Nigerian men have unspoken rules when it comes to their boys. You must learn to:

✅ Accept that “Guys Night” is sacred

✅ Prepare for random weekend football banter (even if he support”s Arsenal)

✅ Never, I repeat, NEVER say, “Babe, but why do you need to watch this match again. You already know that they lost!”

Step 4: Embrace the Drama

Every Nigerian man has a bit of Nollywood flair embedded in his soul. Whether it’s dramatic phone conversations (“Ah ah, my brother, why are you oppressing me like this?!”) or exaggerated story-telling where he is always the lion and the conqueror, just go with it.

✅ React with an appropriate amount of side-eye

✅ Keep snacks nearby when a family debate gets intense

✅ Expect phrases like “Don’t worry, I have connections” (Spoiler: He may, but they are probably his cousin’s best friend’s uncle)

Step 5: Get Ready for the Wedding Spectacle

If you successfully navigate Jollof diplomacy, The Mother, and Guy Code, you’re officially wedding-bound. But make no mistake—Nigerian weddings are full-on extravaganzas.

✅ Your guest list will triple overnight (His mum’s church members WILL attend)

✅ Expect three outfit changes minimum

✅ Spraying money is a competitive sport (Aunties with serious cash-flexing skills will be present)

By the end of it, you’ll either emerge as a reigning queen of the Naija Bride Universe or cry in a corner from sheer exhaustion.

Final Step: Have Fun & Hold Your Own!

Marrying a Nigerian man is an adventure, and if you’re up for the food, the laughter, the big family, and the spontaneous drama, it might just be the best decision you ever make. If you love our culture – we will suffocate you with love. Literally.

Find out how our Sade bagged her own Odogwu in my new book – The Marriage Monitoring Aunties Association. Click here to get your copy

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Ola Awonubi is an award-winning author, creative writing tutor, and speaker with a passion for storytelling that spans decades. Born in North London to Nigerian parents, she spent part of her childhood in Nigeria before returning to the UK. At 40, she rekindled her childhood dream of becoming a writer and pursued an MA in Creative Writing at the University of East London.

Her short stories have won prestigious awards, including The Pink House, which secured first prize in the National Words of Colour competition, and The Go-Slow Journey, which won the fiction category for Wasafiri’s New Writing Prize. Ola has published multiple books across romance, historical fiction, and poetry, including A Nurse’s Tale, Love’s Persuasion, Naija Love Stories and coming out soon is her first Rom-com - The Marriage Monitoring Aunties Association.